I had a dream;
I was all alone; in a box, a pitch black box. I wasn’t sure if I had put myself in there, or if they had put me in there; but I was there nonetheless. Cold, dark, lonely; i wanted to cry out, not that I couldn’t, but I didn’t. The darkness was my home, the cold my shelter. This was my space, my place. I figured I’d just stop fighting; its okay to lose…
Yet at that moment the box began to move, it began to drop; it was an elevator… Maybe it wasn’t; but I was descending; descending at a steady pace. Flickers of light making their way through; darkness was dissipating. I as sank further, I made out figures of people, couples holding hands, giggling… They looked at me, and smiled. They were beaming; i wasn’t sure why. Then I noticeably slowed down, I was reaching the bottom..
I heard a voice; “there she is…”
‘Who?’ I asked.
But there she was. Her beaming smile putting darkness to flight. She was warm. And as she held out her hand, time began to freeze; as if to give me a chance to think, to consider, to hesitate, to be sure; I am the second-guesser.
This time it was different. This time, more than ever, I wanted this. With all the life in me, I grabbed that hand, with zero intent to let go; not now not ever. And just like that, all the doubts; all the ‘if’s and ‘what if’s, all the plan B’s, dissolved. Into thin air, into clear water, they were gone; they were no longer necessary. Like when two fists of ninja clash and the intent in their hearts is made clear; the feeling of our two hands touching connected the feelings of our two hearts. At that moment, something was passed. It rushed through my body, my sub conscience, my soul; like a drug, with a calming, yet reassuring effect. I’m not letting go.
Words were never uttered; they weren’t needed. But they loudly reverberated within my being.
“It’s going to be okay; because I love you too.”