Yeah! My first post after a looong while, huh? A lot of stuff came up; like school, gaming, more gaming…you know. But yeah, I’ll be posting more regularly because I’ve finally rediscovered my writing style (after losing it apparently); lemme just say being yourself is harder than it sounds. And I’m not kidding.
So, I think I inherited the ‘forgetful’ gene from my mum. Sure, everyone forgets once in a while; but some more than others. If you leave water on the cooker while making rice and totally forget only to remember when you hear ‘paranormal sounds’ coming from the kitchen, yeah, your case of forgetfulness is a special one. If you haven’t reached there then you’re okay; you shouldn’t worry. Why? Because forgetting isn’t easy.
I grew up with people around me always saying “Forgive and forget, that’s the best way to live”. Especially after they’ve done something wrong. But can we really forget something that has affected you in one way or the other? Can you really erase an emotional rubber stamp from your memory completely?
Lemme back up a little. I read in a book (hah, can’t remember which one; but I did) that we can easily recall fun times because of that happy feeling generated. That warmness in your heart is what registers the whole event in your memory, not the event itself. In fact, depending on the awesome time you had, the moment someone says the word ‘fun’ you could reflect to that moment. The same goes for sad times. That down feeling will make you remember the event whenever someone mentions the word ‘sad’.
So, telling someone to forget that you did them wrong is a tall order. A very tall one. They CAN forgive you, but don’t think they won’t remember. That memory will still linger. Tears can dry, but that doesn’t change the fact that they came out. So long as some emotion was evoked somewhere then *bam* rubber stamp. Usually (though not all the time) the things we forget are because there was no feeling towards it. Frankly, when I want to remember something I first remember how it made me feel and then it resurfaces. You should try it! But when I can’t remember how I felt, chances are pretty high it’s not in my memory.
I hope this’ll make you handle relationships more delicately (they are fragile after all). One mistake can make everything up. Also, the fact that someone still remembers a mistake you made doesn’t mean they are ‘dwellers of the grim past’; give them a chance to heal. It’s the best you can do.
It’s almost impossible to forgive and forget, but it’s definitely possible to forgive and get over it.