Monthly Archives: November 2013

The Ghosts of my Childhood Past

ImageYes, I was young. But I was not foolish. With eyes that see everything, and an intuition that cuts sharper than any wind chakra coated blade, I was constantly putting myself at the front lines, absorbing information from all angles. Yes, I was curio. Only because I hated not knowing; being in the dark. But as a child you only have so much processing capability; there’s all this data coming in but you don’t know what to do with it. So it just sits there, waiting for you to either understand it, or forget it. And I don’t forget.

The data sat in that cauldron, mutating from time to time, but just as dormant. And then one day, you begin to see patterns. You find missing gaps; and you attempt to fill them. Instinctively, you dip your hands into that cauldron, despite screams from the dark matter to leave it alone. You don’t listen. You dive right in. And suddenly everything is clear.Clearer than ever. That crystallizing moment. When you discover all you saw, all you know, allyou had been told, isn’t what you had believed. Your very foundation of existence totally shaken to the core. No, this is not the rag being pulled from underneath you. This is the floor literally disappearing from where you’re standing. Then you begin to fall. Voices grow faint The light diminishes, getting farther and farther till it vanishes. Oh, the irony!

And you reach a point, where you’re not sure if your still falling. You’ve been there for so long you just don’t care. For the dark matter mutates one last time; bearing its final form. The immortal ghosts that will haunt you forever. They will be with you. Because you gave them life. Reminding you of what you have done; how cruel this world is, keeping you from growing forward; from opening that door. For you feel you have enough of them already. Oh, the truth is grizzly.

Some things are better off left unsaid. Even if it’s the truth. For the sake of sanity. And stability.

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